Ever wondered how someone ends up helping people write their life stories? For me, it’s been a long, unexpected journey — one that’s taken me from teaching to illness, to mindfulness and celebrancy, and finally to discovering the power of personal stories.
A Childhood Spent in Books
As a child, I was a voracious reader — the little girl always buried in a book. I’d read by torchlight under the bedclothes when I was supposed to be asleep, and go on holiday with a carrier bag full of library books. Alice in Wonderland, What Katy Did, The Borrowers, The Secret Seven, Winnie the Pooh … I adored them all.
As much as I loved the stories, I was equally fascinated by the words themselves — how they built into sentences that drew me into other worlds. I dreamed of becoming an author one day.
Losing — and Finding — My Way
But somehow, I could never come up with a viable story idea. And I’d heard that “real authors” couldn’t help themselves — they were always writing. As I grew older, I concluded that obviously, I wasn’t one of them. So I gave up the dream and trained as a primary school teacher.
Teaching didn’t suit me; I was hopeless at discipline, and the accepted norms of how children should behave grated on me. Later, I became a peripatetic music teacher and eventually moved into community music projects — roles that allowed greater freedom in how I related to children and young people. Still, I often felt like a square peg in a round hole.
Then my life was upended. After a year or so of worsening joint pain, constant throat infections, and crippling fatigue, I was diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune disease. For a while I struggled on, but eventually had to accept that I would have to give up work — at least for the time being.
A New Path Through Volunteering
Eventually my condition improved enough to try some voluntary work. I’d always admired the Samaritans — I’d even called them myself once, in the early hours of the morning when my marriage was falling apart. The quiet presence of another human being, whose only purpose was to be there in that moment, helped me get through the night. Now I had a chance to give something back.
That decision set me on a completely new path. Supporting people at some of the darkest times in their lives was undeniably challenging, but I found it incredibly rewarding. I discovered strengths and abilities I never knew I had, and it sparked in me a desire to shape my life around helping others through difficult times.
From Mindfulness to Celebrancy
Years earlier, I had discovered for myself the benefits of meditation, and now I trained to teach a ground-breaking eight-week mindfulness course with the decidedly non-snappy title of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. It’s a transformative programme that helps people see life’s challenges from a different perspective and equips them with skills to navigate them more skilfully. Later, I became a civil funeral celebrant — working with people facing one of life’s most painful experiences: bereavement.
So what has all this to do with life story writing? Quite a lot, as it turns out.
There's no set wording for a civil funeral; each ceremony is written for a unique individual and their bereaved family. The central element is the tribute - an evocation of the person's essence, their story. At its simplest, it's the story of a life.
The Seed of Life Story Writer
I loved everything about being a funeral celebrant. Demanding and stressful, but also deeply rewarding. And finally, I was — in some measure — a writer!
But one of the saddest things was how often, when I asked about someone’s early life, the family would say, “We don’t really know much about that part of her life. It’s a shame we didn’t ask her when she was still alive.”
And so the seed of Life Story Writer was planted — recording people’s life stories while they’re still here to tell the tale.
Learning the Craft
I was then to learn quite what I’d taken on! Writing a thousand words for a tribute is one thing; managing a manuscript of thirty or fifty thousand is quite another.
I had to learn how to structure long-form writing, how to bring scenes to life with action, dialogue and setting. I learned to research family and social history, restore old photographs, design simple book covers, and format files for printing. I even taught myself a bit of website design.
Finally, I was ready to launch. Ordinary people could now have their stories preserved for their children and grandchildren — told in their own voice, the way they wanted it told. Technically, that makes me a ghostwriter — but since that term often conjures up celebrity memoirs (and to some, sounds a bit like cheating), I settled on Life Story Writer.
Stories Worth Telling
It all coincided with a downturn in my health and a need to step back from celebrancy, and it felt utterly right.
Since then, I’ve written stories for people from every walk of life — doctors, electricians, teachers, musicians, factory workers. People who’ve changed the world, and people who’ve simply lived good lives and done right by their families and neighbours.
For some, it’s a chance to highlight a social injustice; for others, a story of triumph over adversity. For many, it’s simply about showing their family where they came from and how they became who they are.
The growing popularity of family history websites and programmes shows how powerful this urge is. And while Life Story Writer isn’t specifically designed to help people through difficult times, the way funeral celebrancy and teaching Mindfulness are, telling your story to a non-judgmental listener and seeing it set down in words can help you reflect and gain perspective. Research increasingly shows that telling our stories supports good mental health. For me — and for my clients — it’s always a journey, and always an enriching experience.
Every Life Is a Lesson
Something I learned as a funeral celebrant is that no life is ordinary. Every life is a lesson in how to be human — each one unique, and each one a privilege to share.
If you’ve ever thought about writing down your own story — or helping a loved one do so — I’d love to hear from you. You can find out more at www.lifestorywriter.co.uk, or message me to talk about how we can capture your memories before they fade.
