Pen in hand, you stare at the blank piece of paper on your desk - or more likely, a blank computer screen. Today is the day you’re finally beginning work on your life story.
But how to start? Where? From the beginning and keep going to the end? It’ll take forever! What to leave out and what to include? Should you have a theme? If so, what?
Questions, questions, but no answers.
You decide to take a break; maybe a cup of tea will help the creative juices flow. Twenty minutes later, you’re back at your desk. ‘Oh well’, you think. ‘Here goes.’ . . .
‘I was born in 1961 in Birmingham. My parents were Nancy and Joe Millington. My first school was Hollyside Primary …’
‘This is so boring!’ you shout. ‘No-one’s going to read this! I give up.’
~ ~ ~
Writing your life story can be a daunting task; by the time you’re even thinking about it, you’re likely to have been on this earth for at least a few tens of years. That’s a lot of living, and sorting out the dross of the commonplace from the gems of insight isn’t easy.
So how about this?
Start with one anecdote.
Choose a moment in your life that was a turning point, when something significant changed for you: the day you met the friend who would be alongside you during the most difficult period of your life; the incident that made you realise you had a previously unsuspected strength. Sketch out what happened. A few sentences or a few pages, it doesn’t matter. You’ve started - with something you know is going to be important to your story.
What next?
Perhaps that event led to another; if so, what comes next is obvious. If not, simply repeat the process - don’t worry for now if there’s no connection between this anecdote and the first one.
Then keep going. Writing your story, one anecdote at a time.
As you work through your stories, you might see a theme beginning to emerge, and that will influence your choice of subsequent stories. Either way, you’ll soon have enough to write some connecting pieces. Hey presto! You're telling your story.
Later on in the process you’ll most likely start to wonder whether your story needs more of a structure; I’ll be writing more about this and how to make your story come to life on the page in subsequent posts. For now, the important thing is that you’re getting your story down on paper; but it’s helpful to make notes as you go along, either in a notebook or a document on your PC - things like:
- who were the significant people in your life?
information about the locations of your anecdotes that might give context to your story
ideas for themes and events that were perhaps less significant, but led up to, or were consequences of the events you’re describing.
As well as creating a record of your life for your family, research has shown that writing your story – including the more painful events - can be hugely therapeutic and rewarding.
So what are you waiting for? Time to get out that pen and paper!
References
Gregory Ciotti, The Psychological Benefits of Writing, Help Scout (blog), March 6, 2023, https://www.helpscout.com/blog/benefits-of-writing/
King, L. A. (2001). The Health Benefits of Writing about Life Goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27(7), 798-807. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167201277003
Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process. Psychological Science, 8, 162-166.
Ullrich, P.A. & Lutgendorf, S.L. Journaling about stressful events: Effects of cognitive processing and emotional expression. (2002). Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 24, 244-250.
